A Dance of Truths

by Kat

PG

Jonathan watched as T’Pol hovered inside the door to the Captain’s mess.  He was unable to stop the sigh that echoed through the room.  She was uneasy and uncertain and it was all his fault because he had needed to kiss her.  He watched her out of the corner of his eye as she straightened her shoulders and came in, sitting quietly in her normal spot.  He waited until she was served before saying anything.  “I’m sorry I stepped over the line last night T’Pol.  I would never deliberately do anything to make you uncomfortable around me.”

Her eyes flashed up at him and then back to her plate.  He could of sworn he had seen something important in that brief look.  “It is quite alright Captain.  You did nothing I did not encourage and it was just a kiss after all.  I was… curious.”

His first thought was to take offense.  The last thing he wanted to be was a science experiment, but then he saw the slight tremor in her hands and knew he hadn’t imagined her response to him.  “I was curious as well, but that’s not all.”  He waited until she lifted her gaze once more.  “I loved dancing with you, T’Pol.  I loved holding you in my arms, and I loved kissing you.  If have to tell you I’m going to have problems separating myself from the experience, especially since it is something that makes you uncomfortable.”  He glanced down at his hands and then back at her, nearly gasping as their eyes met. 

His heart clenched as she stood abruptly and turned toward the door.  He stood and followed her, unable to stop himself from grasping her arm and drawing her back to him.  “T’Pol wait.  If you don’t feel the things I feel and want the things I want then tell me now and I’ll walk away.”  He swallowed the fear that rose in his throat.  “I can pretend this never happened, but I don’t want to.”  The tenseness in her shoulders and body frightened him.  He could almost hear her gearing up her rejection.  Please don’t let me be wrong about this.  His blood pounded in his ears and he regretted that he had pulled away last night, and let her leave.

Suddenly, she sagged against him.  Once more their bodies seemed joined from chest to groin and Jonathan nearly groaned at the flash of arousal that zipped through him.  “I don’t know what to do.”

Thank you God.  It wasn’t a hey baby let’s hit the nearest bed and relieve all this unresolved tension, but it wasn’t a get the hell out of my life either.  “That’s a start.  I take this to mean you are willing to explore this a little.”

She turned in his arms and slowly pulled away.  Crossing her arms across her chest, she hugged herself.  “Will you kiss me again?”

His eyes nearly fluttered back in his head at the thought.  Is that an offer?  “I suppose that depends on you.  I would like to.”

She blinked as she tried to process it.  “Vulcans don’t kiss.”

He tipped his head, trying to understand what she was not saying.  I’m not a Vulcan.  “Kissing is a part of my culture, but I could come to a compromise if it’s necessary.”

She didn’t acknowledge his words.  “We don’t dance either… at least not as we did last night…”  Her voice trailed off as he raised a brow in question.

His eyes narrowed.  Women in general had a tendency to confuse him, but this one totally blew his mind.  What should I say?  What does she want from me?  “I enjoy both dancing and kissing.  If would be a shame to give them both up, especially since I really enjoy sharing them both with you.  Still, I think we could compromise.  There are all kinds of dances just like there are all kinds of kisses."

She seemed to shudder in place and it set off a similar response in him.  “And you wish to show me these things?”

Oh yeah!  In his mind he could hear brief flashes of music, softly romantic one moment, and wildly tempestuous the next.  It symbolized their relationship in a brief moment.  Confusing, sometimes clashing, yet intriguing just the same.  “There are so many things I want to teach you, and to learn.  There is so much we can share together.”  The music continued to rumble through his brain in almost frustrating intensity, and yet it worked too.  He wondered if she would find it just as perfect, just as fascinating.  Her arms dropped and when she met his eyes, he saw a flash of something vulnerable there.  It made him want to take her in his arms and reassure her, but he didn’t want to frighten her.  No matter what she might say in objection, she was frightened.

She took a slow step forward and then another one.  “Jonathan… would you…” 

She glanced down and bit her lip.  It seemed so innocent and so endearing.  His breath caught in his throat.  “Would I?”

She blinked again and this time seemed to shake away her uncertainty.  She moved closer until she could touch his chest with her hand.  “Would you kiss me again?”

He grinned and pulled her gently into his arms.  “I would be honored.”  Slowly his lips began to lower to hers.

She drew back slightly, causing his brows to raise in surprise.  “And the next dance?”

He chuckled and hugged her tightly.  “When ever you want.”

“There is one other thing you should know before this goes any further.”

Hush woman and let me kiss you!  He pushed those errant thoughts aside at the somberness of her tone.  “What?”  She chewed on her bottom lip, making him focus on it.  Lucky teeth, he thought.  “T’Pol.”

“My people are touch telepaths Jonathan.  When we are touching, sometimes I can hear your thoughts if I’m not blocking them.”

“Hear my thoughts?”

“Yes, and feel your feelings.” 

At the look in his eyes she started to pull back, but he wouldn’t let her go.  “You’ve done this before?”

She shook her head.  “Not intentionally.  It is usually when the contact is unexpected, but even then I have my mental shields in place.  It is no more comfortable for us then it is for you, especially when there is distrust or anger.”

His mind flashed briefly over the times they had touched, especially in the beginning and he wondered how she had withstood his unreasonable fears and anger.  He focused back in on her as she once more tried to pull away.  “What is it?”

“I can tell this concerns you.  I do not wish to cause you any discomfort.” 

He tightened his grip on her yet again and tucked her head under his chin.  “It concerns me some, but I was more worried about what I might have done to you in the past… if I might have offended you in some way.”

She relaxed against him.  “As I mentioned, I have shields to protect me.  The only reason I brought it up is because it is something you should know.  I lost those shields last night when we danced and again when you kissed me… I got swept up in what we were feeling and never wanted it to end.  If we continue this relationship, if we get closer, it will happen again.  I know how humans value their privacy, especially their thoughts and feelings.  I do not want to intrude if you are unwilling.”  She paused for a long moment.  “Sometimes my people even form a mental bond where they can communicate telepathically.  I do not know if it is possible with humans, but I thought it was something you should know.”

He waited a while before answering, her words running through his head.  He needed her and loved her, she was his friend and he wanted her as his lover, wanted her in his life, but could he handle her in his mind?  The point seemed mute as he absorbed the feel of her in his arms, and the warm exotic scent of her.  She was here now and that was where he wanted her to be.  He thought about his earlier comments on compromise, and suddenly it seemed worth the risk.  Like I’m going to stop loving her because she can read my mind.  The music in his head seemed to return as he studied her.  It was the romantic part, sure and steady, just like T’Pol.  He smiled as he spun her around in a short waltz, humming the bit of music.  As she stared up at him in surprise, he grinned and kissed her on her nose.  “I willing to give it a shot if you are?”

At her nod, he grinned even wider, and then he kissed her.  As their lips merged, T’Pol could have sworn she heard a crescendo of music.  She drew back slightly, her eyes questioning.  “Fantasy impromptu Jonathan?”

He laughed.  “I think it’s rather appropriate don’t you?  An impromptu dance lesson based on a fantasy and leading to forever; it works for me.”

“Hmmm…”  Her eyes closed briefly as she uttered the soft sound, and then her hands were curling around his neck and she was drawing him to her once more.  “I think you should kiss me again, Jonathan.  After all, there are many lessons to learn,”  as his lips passed over hers, she sighed, “and many dances…”

Fin~

Sap alert I know, but I couldn’t resist.  This series was originally supposed to be a series of daydreams and turned into a music lesson instead.  If you aren’t familiar with the music title I threw out in the story or the description, I was talking about Chopin’s Fantasy Impromptu.  It is one of my most favorite pieces of classical music, beaten out only by Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.  Both are deceptively simple sounding pieces of music, but if you close your eyes, and listen, you will hear the complexities beneath the surface.  So, blame this one on Chopin.