The original idea behind A Night in San Francisco was to place it in the storyline with the Expanse. However, while I was driving to work I heard the songs Missing You and Faithfully Yours and they spawned an idea for an AU. For those of you not familiar with the term AU, it means alternate universe and because I really like the flow of this idea, it may spawn even more stories. Keep in mind this is a sequel to A Night In San Francisco though it is not necessary to read the first for this one to make sense. Spoilers for the Expanse.
Special thanks to Mana and of course Dee, for being sounding boards, great enthusiastic Cat-fic connoisseurs, and all around great gals. And a thanks to all those who asked for a sequel to A Night in San Francisco
And now the fun stuff. OC’s are mine, story is mine, and the Enterprise characters are mine (oops, not mine) and I ain't got no money so please don’t bother…..
Faith of the Heart
NC-17
by Kat
He missed her, had missed her for quite some time. Damn the Expanse anyway, and the Xindi. There had been one perfect night, and then he had taken her back to Vulcan and entered hell. The Xindi war, that stupid battle with the Xindi had cost him more than he had ever imagined. Jonathan Archer was not a naïve man, not anymore anyway, but he had begun to believe all battles were stupid. Oh he understood the need for them. One should always protect the things he believed in, and life was one of the most precious of things to protect, but wars themselves were stupid. They were either inflammatory or reactionary. Despite all the conversations and fights and plotting and planning, it broke down into two simple, or not so simple facts. You either caused it or reacted to it. Right and wrong often blurred in the spread of time and such things as honor, respect, and belief could and would often be suspended in the reality of battle. It was a moot point now. The battle had been won in as much as any battle is truly won, and Enterprise was going home, back to the Earth she had saved, for now. The hardest part as Captain was coming home without all the crew he had left with. There had been some casualties, too many, and Enterprise herself was limping along. Home however was on the horizon, and things that had been left undone could now be finished.
In reference to unfinished business, Jonathan always thought of T’Pol. In fact she was rarely ever not in his mind. He thought of her daily, and when he dreamed, he dreamed of her. After over two years in the Expanse, one would think he would have moved on, or at least forgotten. Nothing could be farther from the truth. T’Pol was as much a part of his life as if she were still with him. When he closed his eyes he could still smell the warm, spicy scent of her skin. The taste of her still tingled on his tongue, and he couldn’t sip wine without remembering the liquid combined with the succulent and exotic tang that was exclusively T’Pol. No, he couldn’t move on. She was always with him and always would be.
There were times when he was full of doubt and confusion, feeling his lowest, that he wondered where she was and what she was doing. Hell he always wondered where she was and what she was doing, but during the low times he worried it like a dog with a bone. Was she back on Vulcan? Or was she serving on another ship? A Starfleet ship? Was she married? Was someone else holding her, sampling her sweetness? Was she as wonderfully responsive as she had been with him? Or was her passion being suppressed and denied? Those were some of the hardest questions for him to accept and answer. He simply didn’t know. All his communiqués back to Earth had failed to give him answers. T’Pol was not within his reach and that frightened him more than he had ever imagined.
On the good days, he was able to think of her without the constant worry and believe that she was somewhere safe, waiting for him. There were even times when he heard her in his mind. During those times, he would close his eyes and send out a desperate ‘I love you,’ praying that she felt it, heard it, believed it, wherever she was. It was a faith he had to hold close to his heart. It kept him stable and gave him a reason to go home.
Then, there were the quiet times, usually when he was alone, trying to sleep, that he would listen and try to feel her, and in those times he could almost believe she was next to him. It was then, in the quiet of night, he would pull out the memories of that night in San Francisco. Those memories would play through his mind and renew his faith, in both of them. As he paced his quarters, he allowed those memories to soothe him once more.
“Make love to me Jonathan Archer. Share with me one moment, one night.”
Pulling her close, he kissed her again, his tongue searching the depths of her mouth and encouraging her to do the same. Time stood still as clothes disappeared. Moments became memories as hands searched and learned, colors and textures magnified, sounds and tastes blended as they discovered each other. He felt a brief moment of regret as he lifted her onto the table. Lovemaking after all should be savored, especially the first time, and he didn’t like that he was taking her here. She brushed away his doubts by pulling him to her and kissing him softly.
Jonathan quickly took control of the situation, encouraging her to lay back. Looking her over, he couldn’t resist running his hands over the exposed flesh. He could sense her desire for him and also her uncertainty. He reassured her as best he could with smooth caresses and soft words of love. The greenish tint of her skin seemed an exotic aphrodisiac and he leaned forward, suckling the tip of her breast into his mouth. The soft gasp she allowed to escape urged him on and he teased the taut peak before moving to its twin. Eyes closing in bliss, Jonathan savored the warm, comforting taste of woman. There was something about her that was as familiar, as all women are familiar, and there was that unique something that made her T’Pol. His tongue trailed over her body, learning her sensitive spots, memorizing each dip and curve, each flavor, until she was writhing beneath him. Each time she would try to pull him to her, he would catch her hands and draw them away. Need dug at him, demanding he take what he wanted, and yet he wanted her with him, as aroused and needy as himself. He couldn’t stop watching her. The passion that flowed off of her, the emotion, it floored him. Her arms moved restlessly on the table and in one random movement, knocked over the bottle of wine.
Jonathan reached out, quickly snagging the bottle before it could fall, but his hands were unsteady, and he spilled it as he moved it to safety. Breath catching, he watched the dark splash of the wine as it coated her breast in dark red. The chill liquid tightened the already turgid peak, and the need to sample her, wine and flesh was too much to endure.
Slowly, eyes locked on hers, Jonathan sipped at her breast. With deliberate strokes he cleaned the mound, lapping all traces of the wine from her chest before sucking the taut nipple in his mouth. He fed as if he could draw the wine from her, savoring the tantalizingly sweet taste of the wine and the spicy flavor of T’Pol. The delicate whimpers and encouraging movements of her body, as well as the soft urgings of her mind quickly divested him of his control. Need ran rampant in his system. He knew she was still uneasy and not completely ready, but he couldn’t seem to control himself. He wanted her, had wanted her so long and hadn’t realized it that he was ready to explode. He shifted, shimmying out of his trousers and nudging her thighs wide as he moved between them. Time seemed to stand still as he gazed down at her, open, waiting. With a quick thumb stroke over her center, he moved closer, adjusting her so his hands gripped her hips and her legs draped over his arms.
His next move was sudden and breath stealing and startled T’Pol out of her passion. The sharp shock of him entering her body forced her to tense up and cry out at the unexpectedness of it. She wanted him, wanted to complete there bond, but had not expected their union to be so uncomfortable. She gasped as he moved against her, her fingers digging into his hands. Wait, wait, I can’t… Her thoughts scattered in the face of the emotion rolling off of him, but it was enough to catch his attention and to help him regain his control. She watched him pant as he fought to put a lid on his desire. His fingers clenched her hips unconsciously and she wondered if he would give her a chance to catch up. For the briefest of moments she wondered if this were how he would be if he experienced the Pon Farr, and then his fingers were moving in slow circles, massaging the area he had once gripped. She watched as he removed his arms from under her legs, and stroked the crease of her thighs. He seemed to study the place were they were joined for several seconds. With each moment that passed, the avalanche of need that had poured from him seemed to pull in on itself, as if he were attempting to lock it away. T’Pol had only wanted him to give her a moment to adjust, to catch up with him, now she was confused. Once more she cried out, this time as he pulled out of her. “Jonathan?”
His fingers slid over her, teasing the swollen bud between her thighs as he soothed her. “Shhhh Love. I wasn’t thinking… I should have known…” His fingers played lightly over her, as he caught the back of a chair and drew it closer. He gently captured her foot and kissed his way down her leg. After a tender exploration of her foot, he placed it on the chair he had pulled closer, and repeated the process with her other foot. Jonathan studied his handiwork and nodded in satisfaction. Though confused by his actions, she was still willing, and laid sprawled before him. Again the urge to take threatened to swamp him, but he tamped it down fiercely. He had hurt her once, but he was determined to make up for it. The bottle of wine caught his eye and he smiled. The cool liquid was just what he needed to soothe the area he had just irritated.
T’Pol’s eyes widened as Jonathan picked up the bottle and began to dribble the red wine on her skin. The shock of the cold wine against her overheated system was enough to steal her breath, and she rose on her elbows. “What are you doing?”
His grin was nearly infectious. She blinked at the rush of images he sent her way. So stunned by his thoughts, she didn’t think to object as he tipped the bottle over her lower abdomen. Her hips bucked of their own volition as the wine slid over her sensitive flesh. Unknowingly, she began to pant, her eyes widening even further when the chill of the wine was absorbed by the heat of his mouth.
By the time Jonathan finished licking all traces of the wine from her body, T’Pol was more than ready for the continuation of their mating dance. When his body merged with hers, she curled into him, raising herself into a sitting position, with her arms around his neck and her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. Jonathan supported her with his hands on her bottom. The table edge dug into the small of her back, but she didn’t care. She was spinning out of control, drowning in his desire and her own, the very nature of it blocking out everything else. Feelings she had never understood or experienced came crashing down on her and she reveled in it. Time lost all meaning as two souls merged, the bond complete.
That night had been a perfect time, one he hoped to rediscover. They had returned to the ship, each uncertain what to do next. The mantel of Captain and Sub-Commander had fallen back around them, and responsibility and duty had taken precedence. Over the next six weeks, they had resumed their duties, and though there had been no more time for Jonathan and T’Pol, he had felt certain that she was as much a part of him as her voice was a part of his mind. There had been a moment, a time when he had questioned his choices, a time when she had requested to stay with him and Enterprise. He had wanted her with him so badly he could barely breathe, but his resolve had remained. He had taken her to Vulcan, determined to keep her safe, and just as determined to return to her. Enterprise had gone off to war, and he with her, leaving his heart behind.
Now they were going home. Enterprise was returning to Earth. The Xindi incident was over. Even so he would be content to stay in space. He didn’t want to return to Earth where he would be met with beaurocratic bullshit. Oh he would be happy to see Forrest and Starfleet headquarters. He might even take a trip to see Ruby at the 602 and sit at the table where he and T’Pol had first made love, and sip a beer and remember. Though the more he thought about it, the less likely it seemed. It was special time, a perfect time and he was reluctant to go without T’Pol. Staring out the window, Jonathan watched the familiar star field go by. In less than 24 hours they would be home. After all the briefings and such, he was due for some downtime. Already he had been on the horn with Forrest making discreet and not so discreet inquiries trying to find T’Pol. So far, no one was talking and that scared him more than anything. He was home, ready to claim his mate, and she was nowhere to be found.
He wondered if this was how warriors of old had felt when they had gone to battle or out to sea. Would the one they loved be waiting for them or that person be gone, unable to be found like his T’Pol. The fear of her being part of another frightened him more than death. At least death wasn’t a conscious choice to reject him. Of course, even if she were found it didn’t mean anything. She might not be committed to anyone else, but she simply might not want him. He had to shake his head at the thought. Faith had kept him strong all these years and he had to hold tight to it.
The call from the bridge dragged him from his thoughts. “Captain, Admiral Forrest wants to speak to you.”
“Thank you, Hoshi. Patch it through to my ready room.” Jonathan settled in his chair as the screen flickered to life. He greeted his old friend with a nod. “Admiral.”
“Jon. It’s good to see you again. It may be early, but let me be the first to welcome you home.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m going to cut to the chase. I’ve done as you asked and sent out some feelers on the location of T’Pol. May I ask your interest in her?”
“T’Pol was a damn good first officer and I would love to have her back under my command.” He paused for a moment and sighed deeply. “Frankly Admiral there are some personal issues I need to lay to rest as well. I just want to make sure she’s okay.”
“I’ll be honest with you. From what I’ve been able to determine, T’Pol has had a rough run since leaving Enterprise. She’s lost favor with the High Command. She is still part of the science directorate, but has been assigned to a post on a small, isolated planet. From what I understand she and Dr. Yuris were both transferred there to catalog plant and animal species. The colony itself seems to be made up of those who are not considered part of the mainstream of Vulcan society.”
“Why have they given her grunt work? She was a damn good officer. What could possibly have caused them send her out there?”
“From what I could gather from Soval, T’Pol has become an active supporter of victims of Pa’nar’s syndrome among other things. Since the High Command is touchy on that subject, they exiled her along with other troublesome Vulcans to P’Jora. The official status of the colony is research, but everyone there has some sort of disfavor with the High Command. T’Pol was transported there about a six months after Enterprise entered the Expanse. She has lived there quietly for almost two years now.”
“She was vocal in her beliefs before she left Enterprise, and while not happy with her, the High Command never turned against her. In fact, she returned to Vulcan per their orders because she believed in her career. There has to be something else going on.”
“Soval would not elaborate beyond saying that T’Pol had chosen this path by violating the policies, procedures and mores of Vulcan teaching. Because she was and is valuable to the High Command they allow her to live and contribute in exile. It seems being different has caused her nothing but problems.” He paused, swiping his hand over his forehead. “Jon, I’ve been told to discourage you from pursuing this. T’Pol has made her choices.”
“I understand what you are saying, Sir, but this is something I need to do.”
“I was afraid you’d say that.” Forrest took a deep breath, his expression suddenly grave. “She and Dr. Yuris have been living on P’Jora for almost two years.”
“I understand that…”
“Jon, she has a life… a child.”
His heart shattered in a million pieces. He had hoped their words and commitment to each had been more than one night. He hadn’t realized how much he had needed, wanted to believe her words. His heart was tangled in hers and she belonged to someone else. Yuris… The doctor had admired her. Jonathan couldn’t blame him. T’Pol was intelligent, beautiful, intuitive, sensitive. She would be a wonderful mother. Pain twisted inside him, tighter, stronger. He pictured her with a dark head nestled to her breast. Did Vulcan’s breast feed? Was it a boy or a girl? Did the child have it’s mothers personality and depth, or its father’s? That line of thought was getting him nowhere except to twist the knife deeper in his gut. All thought of reclaiming his love left in a spurt of despair. For all that T’Pol may have been his, she would not abandon a mate and her child. In fact, he knew her well enough to know she would not have born a child at all had she not been dedicated to its father. Did Yuris hold her as he had? Did he hear her in his mind and feel all the wonderful feelings he had felt with her on that one perfect night? Did Yuris enjoy the smell and texture of that special woman as he had? Did Yuris know her as he had known her, the depths and thoughts and pieces of T’Pol that where ingrained in his heart? The need to talk to her, to see her, to make sure she was okay pulled at him, blossoming into an ache that couldn’t be denied. None of it mattered to him. He had to be sure and the only way for that to happen was to talk to T’Pol. He shook himself alert as he realized the admiral was still talking. “Jon this much more personal than you let on. Do you really want to stir things up now that she’s settled?”
“I have to Admiral. It’s closure if nothing else. I have to know.”
Forrest nodded at the sentiment. “That’s what I thought. Soval provided me with the coordinates. Once we have things settled here, you’re free to go. You’ve certainly earned the leave time.”
That brought him back to himself even more. As always there was more than just himself to think about. “Is Starfleet planning on refitting Enterprise and sending her out into space?” He took a slow breath as he continued. “I for one would like to remain aboard Enterprise, preferably as her captain. I would like to see us continue our original mission.”
Forrest’s eyes twinkled. “She’s a good ship, I’ll grant you that. As far as Starfleet is concerned, we want to get back to the business of exploring. I have no problem with you remaining her captain, and I don’t think anyone else will either. However, you may have to select a new crew. That could take time.”
“I expected as much. I’ve lost more people then I care to admit but I’d like to think I’ll retain some of my crew as well. Though to be honest, they all deserve a promotion.”
“I don’t doubt that. You’ll be happy to know several of them have requested to remain under your command if you continue to captain the Enterprise. That’s a hell of a loyal crew you’ve got there.”
“Adversity will do that.”
“Indeed.” Forrest sat back and took another good look at his weary friend. “I assume from your words that you are resistant to promotion yourself?” At Jon’s nod, he continued. “You’ve certainly earned it.”
Jonathan flashed him a grin that didn’t quite make it to his eyes. “I may have wanted to be an admiral as a child, but I find more satisfaction commanding this ship, at least for now. I want explore the stars, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Except T’Pol, he thought to himself. “As captain, I have that option and pleasure. It works for me.”
Forrest studied him for a long moment, as if he understood everything that hadn’t been said. Perhaps he did. “I can understand that,” he said. “I wish you luck with everything you do, Jon, I always have.”
“Thank you, Sir.” As the screen went black, Archer considered his next move.
2 ½ months later
The planet Revi was small and green and amazingly lush. According to the scans and data they had on the planet, two-thirds of the planets water came from underground sources. Though it appeared to have little surface water, the planet was tropical in nature and the air held a high humidity.
Over the last two months Jonathan had debated this action. It was one of the reasons he had refrained from attempting to contact T’Pol. However, as they had come into orbit around Revi, he’d had Hoshi contact the P’Jora colony and notify them of their arrival. Despite it all, he was scared.
Jonathan Archer had faced life and death situations that had frightened him less than this coming meeting with T’Pol. As he stepped off the shuttle, he was surprised to find his legs shaking. They were greeted by several Vulcans, but the one he wanted to see wasn’t in the general vicinity. He couldn’t stop himself from searching the faces of those he passed. There weren’t many people on the compound, twenty or twenty-five at the most. He would have thought finding a woman, finding T’Pol, would have been easier.
His lack of attention was noticed by Rov, one of the Vulcans who had greeted them. “Captain? I have noticed you seem to be searching for something. Perhaps I can help you?”
The official story to the colony was they had been sent to bring in supplies. He had not even asked if T’Pol were still there, afraid of the answer. Now however, it was imperative that he know. He fought down a blush. “My apologies, Rov.” He glanced at Tucker and Reed, both of whom had decided to stay aboard Enterprise with him, before he continued. “I am searching for something, someone actually. Sub-Commander T’Pol or Dr. Yuris.”
Rov’s brow rose slightly as he nodded. “Dr. Yuris can often be found at the clinic this time of day. T’Pol lives outside the compound.” He paused at a path near the clinic. “if you follow this path for about two kilometers, you should come across her cabin.”
Trip frowned. “Why does she live out there?”
“T’Pol prefers to live apart from the rest of the us. As you know, this compound is a scientific center for those who have lost favor with the High Command. T’Pol is not highly respected, even among our group. I’m sorry to say, Captain, but between the Pa’Nar’s syndrome and the Krenath, the community prefers she stay out of sight.” At Archer’s surprised look, Rov continued. “The prevailing attitude is not the only one. T’Pol is a great scientist. She, however, would tell you that it is more logical to live where she works.”
“Excuse me?” Reed interrupted. “What is the Krenath?”
Rov glanced at the others and shook his head. He didn’t get a chance to answer as Yuris stepped out of the clinic. He held out a hand to Archer and shook it when the gesture was returned. “It is a pleasure to see you again, Captain.” As he released his hand, Yuris glanced at Reed. “The Krenath is the shamed one, the bastard child she bore and keeps with her.”
Archer’s brows shot up in surprise. He barely noticed as the other Vulcans dispersed, leaving the away team with Yuris. “Why didn’t you marry her and give your child your name?”
Yuris blinked. “T’Pol, as you know, has a mind of her own. She would not bond herself to me, though I’ve offered many times. She claims she is already bonded and for a Vulcan, that’s for life.” He motioned Jonathan down the path. “Besides Captain, T’Pol’s child is not mine nor is she my responsibility. She’s yours.” He paused to meet Archer’s eyes, taking in the shock.
Thoughts swirled in Jonathan’s head. “How?”
Yuris raised a brow as it to say ‘do I really have to explain this?’ “Perhaps you should talk to T’Pol.”
Archer nodded and stumbled down the path with a mumbled “stay with Yuris” to his away team. He barely acknowledged their agreement. His mind was racing. He drifted back to a conversation he and T’Pol had engaged in when they found the future ship. Her words echoed in his brain. “It is unlikely we could reproduce… humans and Vulcans.” Along with that phrase came his later response. “I wonder if it would have pointed ears.” Suddenly he was eager to find out. He increased his pace only to stop suddenly. Blood pounded in his ears, making him dizzy. She. Yuris had said she. He had a daughter. He, Jonathan Archer, a man who had flown starships and never envisioned children, had a daughter. The reality of it slapped him upside the head and he dropped to the ground, tucking his head between his knees as he tried to breathe. He had a little girl, a piece of T’Pol and himself, a result of their love, more profound than anything he had ever experienced. There were so many emotions running rampant inside him, he could hardly think. In an effort to keep it together, he focused on that thought, his daughter. He had a child! The thought soared through his mind. After several minutes those thoughts finally settled and focused on T’Pol.
He had thought he was saving her by taking her back to Vulcan. The career she had been dedicated to was gone. What had he done to her? With her morality, of course, she would have taken care of their child. Would she have loved it? Even with that thought he knew she would have. T’Pol gave all of herself, unselfishly, in whatever she did. He couldn’t imagine her doing anything else as a mother. As his heart began to beat faster, he brought a hand up to his chest. She could have saved herself some trouble simply by marrying Yuris; but Yuris had said she was already bonded. To him? God he hoped so.
Slowly he got to his feet and dusted off his uniform. Speculation was getting him nowhere. He knew how he felt about T’Pol, knew what he wanted. The child was just an added bonus. Once more he began walking down the path. His mind had settled somewhat and noted the shining sun and the dark, leafy foliage of the trees. He wondered what his daughter noticed when she walked this path. Did she even walk? He tried to picture his little girl. By human standards she would be over a year old, but he just didn’t know when it came to her Vulcan heritage. He wondered what she looked like, if she spoke, laughed, cried. Curiosity caused him to pick up his pace. What had T’Pol looked like pregnant? His hands clenched as he tried to picture her nurturing their child with her body. He had never seen a pregnant Vulcan. He wanted to know desperately and ached with the lost opportunity, but he was grateful as well. Would T’Pol and the child have been part of the casualties Enterprise had experienced in the Expanse? For all that he lamented the lost experiences, he was glad in that moment they hadn’t been with him.
The path opened abruptly into a clearing. A small shelter was set back near a stand of trees, and a riot of flowers bloomed around the edges of the forest. A wooden swing hung from the thick branch of an ancient tree. It was set low to the ground and a small child was bent over it. The breath was stolen from him yet again as he stopped to watch her. Drinking in the site of her, with a simple red smock and a wild mass of curly hair, Archer wondered if she were his. Realistically he knew that she was, but he was afraid as well. To give her an image and a name made her more real, but how could that little bundle of sunshine be real, be his?
He moved forward haltingly, taking in everything, or trying to at least. The child was singing baby gibberish as she made the swing move. Soft, golden hair swirled around her head, the shade and texture reminding him of his mother. As he watched, the child pushed off the swing with enough force to cause her to stumble and fall on her backside. The surprise on her face was priceless. The sweet bow of her mouth curved into an O and she blinked, startled. Instinct had him moving forward, determined to pick her up and make sure she was okay, but the little girl simply rolled to her feet, totally unconcerned by her mishap. With a happy babble, the baby scampered back toward the house.
Jonathan found himself following her, reluctant to let her out of his site. His breath stopped yet again as T’Pol rounded the corner, her eyes on the child. Soft Vulcan caressed his ears as she picked the child up. She looked different, softer, with his child in her arms, but there was more to it. Her hair was longer and curled around her ears. Though Vulcan, she didn’t hesitate to snuggle the child to her.
The moment she noticed him, the softness disappeared and the Vulcan he remembered came to the front. Her movements were automatic as she turned, blocking the child from his view. It dawned on him in that moment that she didn’t recognize him. He stepped more clearly into the open, arms out to his side, moving slowly so as not to threaten her. “T’Pol?”
Her eyes narrowed and despite her efforts a combination of shock and hope crossed her face. Jonathan?
It was the sweetest sound he had heard. That mental connection, their mental connection, still existed. His eyes closed as he sought out with his mind. I have missed you, beloved.
“And I you, Jonathan.”
He blinked at the sound of her voice. As her eyes met his, he moved forward once more. There was no thought as he wrapped her in his arms and drew her close. Time lost meaning as he held her, inhaling the familiar scent. A soft whimper caught his ear and he glanced up to find himself looking into a pair of bright, green eyes. The reaction, like so many this day, was automatic. His hand rose of its own accord to stroke the silky curls. He couldn’t resist tracing the upturned nose and, when his exploring fingers discovered them, the points of her tiny ears. While more rounded than her mother’s, the ears spoke proudly of her heritage. “She’s beautiful, T’Pol.”
Her gaze dropped to the child and softened again. “Yes… she is perfect.”
His hand stroked over the child’s cheek, amazed that she didn’t pull away. T’Pol picked up on his thoughts. “She senses my familiarity with you, me ease. She is amazingly intuitive.”
He held both of his girls for several long moments, memorizing their faces, savoring the sight and feel of them in his arms. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She gently broke from his grasp and set the child down, watching as the little girl toddled over to the swing. “I did not wish to hold back or worry you. I know what that night meant to me, but as time passed, I wondered if had been the same for you.”
“How could you have doubted?”
“I laid it on the line with you, Jonathan, on the way back to Vulcan. You rejected me.”
“I wanted to protect you. I wanted you with me but I didn’t want to risk you. I cared for you too much. I…” He glanced up, startled as his daughter giggled. “She laughed.”
“Of course. Most children do.”
“But…”
“Emotional suppression begins at an early age, but Faith is half human. I will not deny her that. Besides, the sound of it is… pleasing to me.”
“Faith?” He could have sworn she was fighting a smile. “Yes. She was my faith in us, Jonathan, my belief that everything would work out as it should.”
He found himself moving toward the child and kneeling beside the swing. “Faith.” The word was uttered more in a testing of it then for any other purpose, but the child turned and smiled up at him. He opened his arms and was amazed when she threw herself into them. He stood, cuddling her close, his face nuzzling her into her neck. She was soft and sweet, perfect. How many times over the last two years had he relied on faith to keep him going? How many times had he relied on it to keep him centered? And now he had an armful of child to remind him of his faith in himself and T’Pol. He held her until she began to wiggled and reluctantly set her down.
T’Pol approached him and took his hand. Together they watched over their child as she played.
Archer took a few minutes to check in with the away team and the ship while T’Pol put Faith down for her nap. As she came back into the small kitchen, he watched her. “Did you know you were pregnant before you left Enterprise?”
She paused for a moment, then continued with the efficient steps of making tea. “No. Though it had been nearly six weeks since that night, I discounted the changes in my body to stress and later the Pa’Nar’s syndrome. It was during a routine check up that I discovered I was pregnant. Once my indiscretion became obvious, I was sent here. Illegitimate children are classified as Krenath and subject to just as much stigma as those with Pa’Nar’s syndrome. When Faith was discovered to be half-human, our disgrace was complete. I would not and could not deny her or send her away as was expected of me, and I would not claim violation, even to protect her.” She turned to look at him. “I made a choice that night and committed myself to you. In my mind, we were bonded. Our daughter may not have been planned, but there is no disgrace in her existence. She is not Krenath to me, but a gift, an unexplainable, unbelievable gift.
Her words turned over and over in his head. He had no idea Vulcans were so closed minded about something as natural as sex and reproduction. It was an archaic thought for so civilized a species and yet is was obviously something he needed to think about. “I want you with me, both of you. I would like to continue to serve aboard Enterprise and have you with me, but I don’t need it like I need you.” He stood and rested his hands on her shoulders. “I was searching for you even before we came back to Earth. I continued searching for you when the information I received led me to believe you were with Yuris and the child was his. I never imagined her as mine, T’Pol. I didn’t think it was possible and I was devastated to think you had moved on. And yet, I still came for you, still hoped that you were mine. I love you and that beautiful little girl and would be honored to be a part of your lives. Wherever you want to be, I want to be with you, to be a family. There is nothing of shame in what we did or the child we created.” He hugged her to him. “Nor will there be in any other children we have.”
She pulled back from him, her eyes sad. “I cannot have anymore children, Jonathan. There were… complications with the pregnancy and birth because of genetic differences.”
There was a moment of disappointment, not with her, but with the fact that he would never see her carry his child, never experience the anticipation and so many of the firsts, but he shook it off. He had T’Pol in his arms and beautiful child sleeping in the other room. He had already experienced so many firsts and there were so many yet to come. He had more than he ever expected, ever dreamed. “You were enough for me all this time. Faith is a blessing.”
She relaxed into him then, her arms wrapping around his waist and her lips testing the skin under his jaw. She closed her eyes and inhaled the familiar scent of Jonathan. Her body quickened much as it had that night so long ago and she pressed closer to him until they were flush against each other. As his body responded to her nearness, she curled her fingers in his hair and arched into him. This time her lips grazed his cheek. “I want you as well, Jonathan. I want our daughter to know her father and to grow up somewhere where she is loved and wanted and respected. I think Enterprise is a good place to start.”
His lips brushed over her brow before trailing over her cheek. “We may play hell getting them to allow us to have a child onboard, but it’s a battle I’m willing to take on.” His hands slid down her back and over her bottom. “But first I want to make love to my wife. Will you agree to marry me according to Earth customs?”
“It is the only logical conclusion to our relationship. We are already married or bonded by Vulcan law. We were bonded the night our daughter was created. That’s also why you can still hear me in your mind and I you.”
He smiled and drew her closer still. “Good, because I’ve thought of you as mine for far longer than that night, and I don’t want to lose you.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Besides, who knows how long it will be before we can get someone to officiate the ceremony?”
T’Pol raised a brow. “Admiral Forrest could officiate over the comm. and the crew could be witnesses.”
He grinned again and let her go, all but her hand. With a gentle tug on it, he guided her out of the kitchen and into the back of the house where the bedrooms were. “That’s a great idea.” He paused by the bed in the backroom and released her hand. Reaching into his pocket, he drew out a thin banded, gold ring. The band itself was etched with an intricately wrought design. He held it up to her. “This was my mother’s ring, and my great grandmother’s before her. I would like you to wear it as a symbol of my promise to you.”
She nodded and allowed him to slide the ring on her left hand. It fit perfectly, as if it had been made for her. His emotions and thoughts were so strong, they ran through her head, making her dizzy. I promise to love and honor you forever, T’Pol.
Her eyes softened just a bit more and she leaned forward to kiss him sweetly. And I you, beloved. T’Pol marveled at the depth of emotion she felt. This man, even after two years, still had the power to move her with a kiss. She struggled with herself, fighting the flow of emotion, but couldn’t suppress it and found she didn’t want to. With a low groan, she swept her hands up his torso, searching for the fasteners of his uniform. Working quickly, she divested him of his garments, refusing to be still as he returned the favor. She wanted to touch and experience everything at once.
Whoever had said Vulcans didn’t feel, didn’t know his T’Pol. Her emotions were as rampant as his own, or perhaps they were his own echoed back at him. It didn’t matter though. Everything he thought and felt was freely shared and reciprocated.
The need swept through them, spiraling out of control. As it had been that first time, a wild flash and burn ripped through their systems. The need to merge, to become one, swept through them, causing the last barriers of clothes to fly and finesse to diminish. They came together in a tumble of bodies, limbs tangling, causing the mattress to groan under the strain. Jonathan couldn’t seem to control himself. He had to taste her, experience everything that was T’Pol, but her passion for him was driving him mad. In a last ditch effort for control, not so much of her but himself, he rolled until he was on top of her, pinning her with his body. His hands tangled in her own and he drew them up by her head. Once he had her pinned, he buried his face in her neck, striving to slow down. It was difficult as the images playing through his mind meshed with the little whimpers of sound she issued. He nuzzled deeper, trying desperately to ignore the small movements of her body. She was strong, more so spiritually than physically, and it was difficult to hold her in place with just his strength. He kissed her cheek lightly, teasing a path to her ear. “Slow Sweetheart, I don’t want to hurt you.”
A rush of images bombarded him. All were erotic to the point of torture. They flashed through his brain, T’Pol, cradling him inside her, his hands stroking her, holding her. Her voice blazed through his mind. Now Jonathan! I need you now. The force of it stunned him, allowing her the upper hand. She rolled him to his back and straddled him. As the wet heat of her brushed against him, Jonathan gave up the fight. His hands roamed over her breasts before moving back and down to cup her bottom as she leaned over him. All thought but T’Pol and pleasure left him as she began a trail of fire down his chest.
Waves of emotion crashed in on T’Pol. Hers, his, she couldn’t make sense of it. All she knew, understood, was this man, Jonathan. He was with her once more and she desperately needed to reaffirm that and their bond. As she moved back up his body, her hand came up automatically, instinctively locking on the pressure points of his face. Her eyes met his and for a long moment they stayed that way, one mind. And then he was lifting her and with one solid thrust, embedded inside her. A gasp was ripped from her throat at the sudden shock of penetration. She had wanted him, there was no doubt, but it had been a long time since they had been joined, and she had also bore a child. Her body stiffened automatically at the sharp stab of pain.
Jonathan stilled as he felt her body’s natural resistance, and cursed himself. As before, he had allowed himself to get swept up in the moment and hadn’t prepared her properly. He smiled as her fingers brushed the hair from his forehead. Even as he felt her relax around him, accepting him, he held her eyes. She let him know that is was okay, was what she had wanted, and even though she moved against him, he stilled her, his fingers tightening on her hips. Control was back now. Though the tempest still raged inside him, it was muted, as if a storm buffered by a solid wall. His fingers traced her hipbones, moving forward. They paused briefly to explore her navel then continued their downward trek. He paused once more at her pelvic bone, his thumbs meeting and fingers spreading wide. He glanced down, studying his hands consideringly before meeting her eyes once more. Did you carry our daughter here?
Thank you. His thumbs caressed the skin there for several seconds. He smiled as her stomach muscles fluttered under his touch. Slowly, surely his fingers traveled lower, stroking the swollen bud at her center.
T’Pol arched her back as the pleasure shot through her at his touch. Thousands of needles of sensation traveled her nerve endings, causing her to gasp and shudder with each stroke. Her breath caught then released almost in a spasmic motion and her hands curled over his wrists. The sensation was too much, too sharp, and she tried to tug him away, but he wouldn’t budge.
Lightening his touch, Jonathan continued to stroke the delicate bud until she convulsed around him. He smiled again, this time with satisfaction, and once more he rolled her beneath him. Her body was slick and hot, hotter than anything he had ever experienced and he never wanted to be separated from her. This was his heaven. T’Pol. He felt the thud of her pulse and the easing of her breath and kissed her. It only took a minute for her to respond and then she was quickening around him. He grunted with the next thrust, awed and grateful for the slick slide of her body around him. And then the storm broke once more, and he was lifting her thigh up and out and driving into her as if he couldn’t get enough. He worried only for a moment about her staying with him, but it was only a moment. Her body strained against his and as his body tightened in release, she shattered around him, the tight clench of her body triggering his own release.
Three days later
Jonathan sat on the bridge of Enterprise as she broke orbit from Revi. For the first time in a long time, all felt right with his world. While Starfleet hadn’t approved of his indiscretion, they had accepted it. Admiral Forrest had agreed to preside over their marriage and his crew had been amazingly receptive to it. In fact, many of them were thrilled to have T’Pol back on board, and seemed just as fond of Faith. The High Command had willingly allowed T’Pol her assignment to Enterprise, and with Jonathan’s declaration of bonding with T’Pol seemed willing to remove her status as morally corrupt. While not happy with the existence of Faith, they also publicly renounced her status as Krenath, all in hopes of bettering the relationship between humans and Vulcans. He glanced over at his wife, the very thought of it causing his heart to beat faster. Enterprise was complete once more. Her crew was exploring rather than waging war. His comm. officer was smiling and flirting with the chief engineer, as Reed and Mayweather traded quips. Everything was as it should be, with the exception of the toddler on his knee. Somehow he couldn’t seem to separate himself from his Faith, though he knew she shouldn’t be on the bridge. He wrote it off as having nowhere to keep her while on duty and knew sometime soon he would have to figure it out, but for now, he was content to enjoy the cohesiveness of his world.
Fin