Guy's Night

Archer stared up at the sky as he attended to business. The moon was bright and full with an unholy red tinge around it. The place reminded him of the blood moons that graced the skies on earth. In fact many of the scenes surrounding him reminded him of home, and the things he missed most living on a starship. The air was hot and humid, the smell of flowers heavy in the air. The stars sparkled above him, enforcing the image of a tropical paradise. With a quick shake, he tucked himself back in and wandered back to the campsite, grinning as Trip caught his attention by holding up a bottle.

"Nother beer Jon?"

"Is the pope Catholic?

Trip chuckled as he tossed it to him. "Food is almost ready."

Archer nodded and dropped down, staring into the flames of the campfire. "That’s good, I'm starving." He took a moment to glance around at the group of men scattered around the site. Muted conversations drifted through the air. It was relaxed and comfortable, just as he had hoped it would be. The away team was made up of only men. Originally a few women had been scheduled for shore leave, but then Trip had gotten a wild idea, and thus the guys night camp out had become a reality. There were other teams on the planet, though the times of leave were staggered. His group was an interesting blend, encompassing all ages and ranks. From the bridge crew there was Tucker and Mayweather. The younger of the two was engaged in a lively conversation with two of the guys from security, Roger and Al. Jim, the resident Ranger was calmly explaining the finer points of southern bootlegged whiskey to young Tom. With another smile at the group, he turned his attention back to Trip.

"What’s on the menu?

"Burgers and dogs."

"No steak and lobster?" Tom’s mouth curled down in a frown.

Jim snickered and patted the younger man on the shoulder. "What do you think this is? The 602 club? We take what chef gives us. This is a picnic after all. Now let's get the food and the hooch flowing."

As the beer and food flowed, the conversation eased off, until the group was silent. Jim scrambled on top of the shuttle, beer in hand, and surveyed the group. "The food is good and the wine is fine, but gentlemen, something is missing."

Roger, Tom and Al exchanged a hopeful glance. "Women?"

Jim shook his head. "Hell no. A volleyball net."

Trip and Travis ran to the shuttle and in a moment carried out two poles, a net and a volleyball. From his vantage point, Jim directed the two men where to set up the net.

Jon, Al and Trip took one side as Roger, Tom and Travis took the other. Jim sat on the sidelines drinking beer and acting as the referee. Three hours later the men collapsed by the fire and the ice chest. All of the men were shirtless and wore gym shorts.

Archer grabbed a beer and limped over to Trip and Al. "Man, I am not as young as I used to be."

Trip laughed. "You? These young guys are in too good shape."

As the younger generation elbowed each other, Jim walked over to them. "Laugh all you want at the old men. They kicked your asses."

Roger frowned. "They cheated."

Archer looked at the younglings. "My boy, old age and cunning will triumph over youth and enthusiasm every time."

Al laughed. "Hey, let’s change the subject. Who do you think is the hottest woman on board?" The men stared at him. "What? You know it had to come back to women eventually. You want me to start?" They all nodded. Al grabbed another beer and took a sip. "Personally, with so many choices, I prefer to study the menu, enjoying the variety as opposed to settling on a main course" At their groans he continued. "But if I must make a choice, Liz Cutler is prime."

Roger looked at Al. "You old dog. Is that why you have been sniffing her trail everywhere she goes?"

"Do I look like I'm from Tennessee? I am from upstate New York."

Trip stood up and swayed a little. "Is that a slam against Southerners?"

Jon reached up and pulled Trip's arm. "Sit down Trip, before you fall down. Who do you fancy?"

"You know damn good and well Hoshi and I are very close."

Roger slapped Trip on the back. "How far have you gone?"

Trip whirled on Roger. "We have never done anything, unlike you and Lieutenant Sume. Alright fess up all of you."

Archer looked at Trip. "What are they going to confess, Trip?"

"Never mind, I’ll tell. I know who is doing what to whom. Malcolm isn’t the only one with informants. Speaking of Malcolm, where the hell is he? I thought he was joining us."

Jim snickered. "Guess you don't know everything after all youngin'." He took a sip of his beer as all eyes turned to him. "He said he was riding another shuttle and would be joining us later."

Archer shook his head. "Who's caught his eye now?"

Jim grinned. "That audacious flirt in engineering, Ensign Kadi. She's been leading him around by his nose..."

"Nose?!?" Tom interrupted. "More like his..."

Archer held up a hand to stop the flow of words. "Sounds like trouble."

Jim shook his head. "Nah, the boy likes trouble, he can handle it."

"Handle what?" The British accent was followed by a rumpled Malcolm Reed as he entered the group.

Roger stood and passed the newcomer a beer. "Speak of the devil. Straighten your clothes Malcolm, you're looking a bit tousled."

Al studied the man for a moment. "Generally happens when a man goes riding."

Malcolm flashed a wicked grin. "And a lovely filly she is too."

Tom's eyes bugged in his head. "That's just wrong."

Al flashed him a curious look. "Why do you say that Tom?"

The young man shrugged. "Women should be respected."

Malcolm chuckled. "I respect all women, especially Kadi. She's a damn fine officer and a feisty bit of flesh."

Jim raised his beer in a toast. "Yup, and she'd rip your balls off and shove 'em down your throat if you didn't show her a bit of respect. Her and those friends of hers."

Tom shuddered. "There's an image I need, thanks Jim."

Jim nodded as Trip patted the young man on the back. "Face it Tom, she's out of your league. Most of that group is. It takes a special kind of man to handle those types of women."

Al and Jim exchanged knowing looks as Jonathan looked on in amusement. Malcolm smirked. "Lessons in the armory when you're older."

Roger choked on his beer. "Sharing tools of the trade, Malcolm?"

"Of course. Pursuing women is an art form after all, just ask the older members of the group. They've got it down to a science."

Tom reached over for another beer. "Well, well, well, secrets are coming out aren’t they?"

Malcolm flashed a look at Tom. "What about you and Crewman Rae? You guys were going hot and heavy in the Jeffries tube the other night."

"A gentleman never tells."

"Horse pucky. Gentlemen may not tell but you, Tom are no gentleman. A gentleman would take her to a bed not a Jeffries tube."

Tom turned to Roger. "What are you smirking about? You and Kat were seen in the walk-in freezer."

Jim looked up. "In a freezer? Were you trying to keep it hard a little longer?"

Roger blushed. "We were just talking about her going after Travis and well, one thing led to another. What about you and Garcia?"

"What about us?"

"Where did you two get it on?"

Jim grinned. "I am a Ranger remember? We're going into Ranger territory and Rangers are very discrete."

Archer laughed. "Discrete? I guess when you're armed and trained to kill, that's being discrete."

Jim shrugged. "What ever works." He looked at Archer. "What about you Jon? Have you heated up that Vulcan sexpot?"

Jon tried to stand up but his legs were a little wobbly. "What do you mean, sexpot?

"You and T’Pol. Have you and she done the horizontal mambo?"

Jon shook his head. "Unfortunately, being the Captain brings complications."

Sensing the wistfulness behind that comment, Travis changed the subject. "Well I think Sarah in Engineering is hot."

Malcolm nodded and lifted his beer in a toast. "That she is... So many women, so little time."

"That is so freaking sexist." Travis shook his head.

Malcolm waggled his brows. "Women are like fine wine and should be savored as such."

Trip snickered. "Yeah, that's why you go through them like they are free samples at a wine tasting."

Malcolm shrugged. "Nothing wrong with checking out the product before you buy."

Travis sighed. "You guys are so wrong. That's just callous. I have to agree with Tom. It shows absolutely no respect for women."

Roger tipped his head to the side as if considering his words. "On the contrary, it shows that we appreciate them quite a bit to talk about them. Besides, nothing wrong with admiring the assets, especially when they are laid before you like a buffet."

Al nodded. "Enterprise may not have a lot of women on board, but the ones she has," he paused, kissing his fingers, "delectable."

Tom frowned. "I only notice Mana... she's perfect."

Jon grinned. "Young love, I remember those days." He leaned over and patted the younger man on the back. "Don't worry, you'll get over it."

"Captain?!?"

"Uh uh, no ranks down here, remember?".

"Uh sorry. But you see, I don't want to get over it. I want to marry her."

Jim snorted, beer flying from his nose. "Marriage is all well and good, but not recommended aboard a Starship."

Trip nodded. "Take your time, enjoy the girl, and then make a decision. Besides, she hangs with a pretty wild bunch. I'm not so certain she wants to settle down."

Al shot him an odd look. "That's not a fair judgment, Trip. Those ladies are a bit wild sure, but most women want to get leg shackled. It's like a gene or something."

"Not my Kat... she'd just as soon have the boots left by the door so they trip me up on my way out of bed."

"Your Kat? I think she might object to that?" Jon said with a twinkle in his eye.

Roger flashed him a glum expression. "Yeah, don't I know it."

"You've actually made it into her bed?" At his blush, the teasing continued. "Looks like Tom isn't the only one suffering from a case of the I wants."

"Shut up. -----"

Archer raised a hand in objection. "Now now, those are our fellow officers we are talking about here, and they are damn good at their jobs too. Maybe they just need a firm hand to guide them."

Al chuckled. "If you think that Sir, you're a might confused. Most of those ladies would buck a firm hand."

Roger's eyes gleamed. "That could be fun"

Tom snickered. "You guys are a bunch of perverts."

Trip punched him lightly on the arm. "Like you didn't think it, sheesh."

Tom snickered. "Yeah but I'm smart enough not to say it."

A snort echoed around the campfire. "And I'm a virgin!" Malcolm was still laughing as he took a drink of his beer.

"That's just scary Malcolm." Jim shook his head as he stood.

"Isn't it just." Malcolm noticed the Ranger walking toward the forest. "Where are you off to?"

Jim turned his head toward them. "After five beers, I am going to see a man about a horse." While irrigating the bush he heard the faint sound of giggling and splashing. Following the enchanting sound, he crouched low and peaked through the trees. There, the subjects of their earlier conversation frolicked in the water. The gleam of moonlight sparkled on naked skin. With a quick breath, and a wild idea, he headed back to the campfire, moving faster the further he got from the women.

The guys watched Jim run back. Travis sat up. "What’s up? Scared of the dark?"

"You won't believe what I just found. A lake full of water nymphs. The lovely ladies we were just discussing were playing in the water like a bunch of mermaids. They looked like they are half-crocked, and they are all skinny dipping."

Trip stood up. "What would you suggest? We go raid them?"

Jim grinned. "Ever heard of the Sabine women?" Most of the men nodded but Tom and Travis frowned. "Well let me tell you. There is an old song about it." Jim walked over to the shuttle and took out a guitar. He began to strum the instrument as he sang in a deep baritone voice.

"Tell ya 'bout them sobbin' women/ Who lived in the Roman days. / It seems that they all went swimmin' / While their men was off to graze. / Well, a Roman troop was ridin' by / And saw them in their me-oh-my / So they took them all back home to dry. /'Least that's what Plutark says. / Oh, yes. / Them women was sobbin', sobbin', sobbin', / Fit to be tied. Every muscle was throbbin', throbbin', / From that riotous ride. / Seems they cried and kissed and kissed and cried / All over that Roman countryside / So don't forget that when you're takin' a bride. / Sobbin', fit to be tied From that riotous ride. / They never did return their plunder. / The victor gets all the loot. /They carried 'em home by thunder / To Rotundas, small, but cute / And you never seen, so they tell me, / Such downright domesticity /With a Roman baby on his knee / Named Claudius and Brute. / Oh, yes. / Them women was sobbin', sobbin', sobbin', Passin' them nights /While the Romans was goin' out hobnobbin', / Startin' up fights. / They kept occupied by sewin' lots / Of little old togas for them tots And sayin', "Someday women folks'll have rights" /Passin' all of their nights Just sewin' / While the Romans had fights. / Now, when the men folk went to fetch 'em, The women would not be fetched. / Seems when the Romans catch 'em, /Their lady friends stay catched. Right./ Now let this be, because it's true,/ A lesson to the likes of you: / Wrap 'em up like them there Romans do/ Or else they'll think you're tetched. /Oh, yes. / Them women was sobbin', sobbin', sobbin' / Buckets of tears. My, sad.. / On the count of old dobbin', jobbin', / Really rattled their ears And that ain't all: / Oh, they acted angry and annoyed, / But secretly they was overjoyed. / You might recall that when corallin' your steers. / Oh, oh, oh, oh, them poor little dears. / Oh, yes. Them sobbin' women. / Oh, yes. Them sobbin' women. / Oh, yeah. Them sobbin' women, / And though they'll be a-sobbin' for a while, / We're gonna make them sobbin' women smile. "

As Jim finished, the men stood up and followed him back to the forested area near the lake, where they stopped and watched. Sharing a look, they crept closer to the frolicking women, waiting to make their moves.

Jazzed by the rambunctious play and the chilly water, Sarah bounded onto the shore. Her goal was simple, renew the music and resume the party. As she passed the edge of the woods, a strong brown arm wrapped around her waist, even as a hand clamped firmly over her mouth. Her breath caught in her throat as she was pulled back against a lean male body. Panic threatened until a soft, familiar voice sounded in her ear. "Shhh Sarah, it's Travis." He loosened his hold a little as she relaxed.

Sarah turned in his arms, took in his naked chest and the mischief in his eyes and gave him a speculative look. She ran a curious hand down his chest and over his abs. "You fishing? Planning on keeping what you caught?"

Travis swallowed. "Oh yeah, if you're biting that is."

She leaned forward and nipped the flesh above his right nipple. "I like to bite." She dug her fingers into the waistband of his shorts, tugging him further into the woods. "Let me show you my sweet spot." Thrilled with the arrangement, the two wandered off to be alone.

The men shared an amused look as the first of their group left. Wasting no time, they nudged young Tom forward as Mana stumbled out of the water. The young woman shoved a wet length of hair out of her face as she glanced worriedly toward the camp. "Sarah? Sarah where are you?"

As she passed near him, Tom snagged her in a move reminiscent of Travis' and received an elbow to the stomach for his trouble. Turning, Mana recognized Tom. Her hands went to her hips. "What are you doing here? We thought we were alone." At his grin, she remembered she was naked. Her hand came up over his eyes. "Don't look!"

"But Mana, you're so damn cute."

"Oh pulease..." Her eyes widened and she let out a little "Eeep!" as she noticed the other men in the group. She ducked behind Tom, using him as a shield. "We've got company!"

Tom took advantage of the situation by backing her into the woods.

Realizing stealth was no longer an option, the men slowly drifted out from under the cover of the trees as women scrambled onto the bank; Kat, Kadi and Dee taking the lead while T'Pol and Hoshi hovered in the shallows.

Dee took one look at Jim, flashed him a wicked smile, and leaped into his arms. She purred as she wrapped herself around him, rubbing her cheek against his. "I've been thinking of you all night."

Kat snickered. "You've been thinking about sex all night."

Dee nodded, snuggling closer. "See, I told you. Whatcha gonna do about it?"

With a quick nuzzle to her neck, Jim hitched her closer to him. He abandoned the others without another thought as he carried her off muttering something about "covert operations."

Kat was still chuckling as Kadi sauntered over to Malcolm. She walked around him once then headed into the trees. As the forest swallowed her up, her voice floated back. "You coming lover?"

Reed winked at the other as he followed her. "I certainly hope so Kadi-luv."

Silence reigned as the remaining people faced off. Trip wasted no time going to Hoshi. He was quiet, simply offering her a hand and a choice. With a shrug the communications officer took it and allowed him to lead her off.

The captain and the Vulcan seemed lost in each other. Recognizing a moment, Kat curled an arm around Roger, and the other around Al. Nudging them in the right direction, she guided them toward the shuttle. With a flirty smile to each she stated, "I always liked those two for one deals. How about I let you play with my toys?"

Once more silence descended as the command team studied one another. Jonathan couldn't bring himself to look away. He flushed slightly. "Sorry we interrupted. I never expected you to be here."

One brow arched toward the sky. "The ladies invited me on a study of human interactions."

He ran a hand through his hair, his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth. "Perhaps, uh, you should cover up."

She glanced at him and then her hands. "It is illogical to attempt to cover three things with two hands. Besides, my study is far from complete and my subjects have deserted me." She gave him a speculative look. "Perhaps you would be willing to fill in."

Uncertain of his luck, Jonathan moved closer and drew her into his arms. The fresh, clean scent of her went straight to his head and her warmth seared his senses. "I think I'm up to it."

Her brow rose again as she pressed flush against him. "Indeed..." Conversation ceased as his mouth covered hers.

The end....